THE JOY OF THE PLANE RIDES... THE SLEEPER...THE SMELLER AND THE KICKER

Flying all over the globe gives perspective.  On lots of things, personal space, personal hygiene and patience.  

On long flights overseas it’s not uncommon for people to invade your personal space.  If not prepared with a pillow or even a rolled up blanket or sweater the head tends to loll from side to side as sleep overcomes.   That heavy head, cannot find a comfortable spot as the body tries to drift off.   All the rolling from side to side is fun to watch.  It's not so fun when you are the victim of the lolling head.  On a trip back from Germany I was stuck in the five seats in the middle of economy section of the plane.  Granted I had the aisle, but the guy next to me had the bobbling head syndrome.   Next thing I knew his chicken parmesan breath was on my neck and his bowling ball head was pressed to my shoulder.  Snoring and drooling he had to go!  I tried to gently push him back to his seat.   He would slump right back to me.  Feeling more insistent I jabbed him in the side with my finger and then as a last resort my pen.  He snorted awake quickly glancing at me.  With wide eyed innocence I would meet his gaze and proceed to get comfortable again trying to watch my in-flight movie.   This apparently was sufficient time for Chicken boy to cuddle up again.   After several attempts, I finally gave up.  Hoping he didn’t have head lice or the pox I just left him be.  I have never counted the minutes to getting to US soil so much as I did that night.

Personal hygiene becomes very apparent on an airplane.  Especially smells.   Airplanes re-circulate their air.  Air quality on a plane is fine most of the time it goes through several filters and comes back out.  The bad thing is any smell stuck on the plane when you start is generally stuck with you the whole flight.  Take for instance my recent flight to Salt Lake City.   I was seated on the plane next to a man that already needed a shower, a lot less alcohol and a breath mint, when suddenly I see three rows of people in front of me plugging their nose.  I chuckled, but then the stench hit me.  A green nuclear gas that burned my eyes.  It made me raise my hand to my nose with a suddenness I didn’t know I had in me.  It passed. Mentally I thanked whatever God had made that possible, I went back to what I was doing.  Fifteen minutes later, my nostrils flared and my eyes watered.  I looked up and the two guys in front of me were holding their noses and mouths, good grief, we have to endure this for two and half hours?  We sure did.  My alcoholic neighbor he didn’t seem to be bothered by the stench.  I suddenly wondered if maybe he was the cause of it.  

 Which brings me to one of my last issues on long plane rides patience or the lack of it.  Children require a lot of patience.  Don't get me wrong I love children.  All kinds of children.  What I don’t love is bored children.  A bored child is a child looking to get into trouble.  On a trip to Arizona I had two young boys ages that ranged from four to six  behind me with their slightly frazzled mother.  They were not going to sleep as their mother had hoped.  Child number one seated behind me did not want to look out the window and watch the landscape go by, nor did he want to read a book.  He wanted to kick my seat.  He would kick, I would slap the back of my seat, his mom would bark at him and he would stop.  Silence would ensue.  Kick, slap, bark, stop.  The cycle went on.  Towards the end of the flight I was paying less attention to where I was slapping and he was caring less about getting caught kicking.  I accidentally tapped the child on the head; not hard thankfully, but enough that he stopped.  I was taken aback, I really did not mean to pop him on the head.  Immediately turning to apologize to his mother, but before I could open my mouth, she had apologized to me, “I’m so sorry." I looked at her puzzled.  I don’t think she knew I had just smacked her son on the head.  I shrugged it's ok and turned around to see if anyone else had seen our little circus.  All was well.    

Flights are trying on the nerves as they are.  It pays to take a shower, bring some patience and set your personal boundaries early on!